What I\u2019d like you to know about me<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d like you to know I\u2019m not a woman,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
not in the way most people recognize it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My gender ebbs and flows like a cosmic nothingness that is both here and there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only I can call myself a girl or a woman (gender-neutral).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On my insides, a twink and androgynous woman hold equal sway over my soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(I\u2019m a Frankie Stein kinnie. In case you didn\u2019t know.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d like you to know I don\u2019t feel Korean in any way except when I\u2019m struggling with my eyeliner in the mirror or wondering why I don\u2019t look like any of the K-Pop girls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If being Korean was a captcha test, it\u2019d think I was a bot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I feel like an imposter in my own race, my own body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sure, I\u2019m not fresh off the boat, but I have no memory of said boat,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
no memory of the country I should have a right to call home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d like you to know, despite the gap in my front teeth, I had braces as a child because my parents could afford it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just like the glasses on my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d like you to know the price of a comfortable white upbringing was knowing no one like me until I was in the 8th grade. There was only one Korean girl in my extremely white school, and she didn\u2019t even know which Korea she came from.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(she told me this like not knowing was a common occurrence)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d like you to know living in my body and mind is a fight every day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The rumination marinates and sits heavy in my skull till it hits my shoulders and drags down my steps as I walk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes I get so tense, I sleep on my back in the fetal position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My childhood bedroom walls belong to my parents, so they accommodated the multitude of identity crises I faced with pins and pretty paint layers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d like you to know I mask my neurodivergency as much as I do my physical body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I try to be \u201cnormal\u201d because society won\u2019t allow me to be anything but that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I fight to find calmness just to exist in the present moment without fearing for my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Something about a good ol\u2019 social situation can really put a bitch in fight or flight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d like you to know I\u2019m Asian, even if I don\u2019t feel it. I\u2019m nonbinary, even if you don\u2019t see it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m neurodivergent and bleed manic pixie dream dust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m comfortable, but only if the lights aren\u2019t too loud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
and those are some things I\u2019d like you to know about me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What I\u2019d like you to know about me I\u2019d like you to know I\u2019m not a woman, not in the way most people recognize it. My gender ebbs and flows like a cosmic nothingness that is both here and there. Only I can call myself a girl or a woman (gender-neutral). On my insides, a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[44,46,15,11,43,45,34,14,12,4,5,13,10,42],"class_list":["post-23","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-adopted","tag-adoptee","tag-gender","tag-identity","tag-korean","tag-korean-american","tag-lgbtq","tag-monster-high","tag-nonbinary","tag-poem","tag-poetry","tag-queer","tag-self","tag-writer"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/baileysavatgy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/baileysavatgy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/baileysavatgy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/baileysavatgy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/baileysavatgy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=23"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/baileysavatgy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":87,"href":"https:\/\/baileysavatgy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23\/revisions\/87"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/baileysavatgy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=23"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/baileysavatgy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=23"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/baileysavatgy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=23"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}